Thursday, May 24, 2012

Top 10 Most Awesome Things I've Heard Foreigners Say in Korea

Here’s a list of the top 10 most awesome things I’ve heard foreigners say directly, second-hand, or read on the internet, in Korea.
10. “All Koreans are creepy.” (???)
9 . (tie) “Koreans walk sooooo slow.”
“Koreans are always in such a hurry.”
8. Military dude: “Did you know 90% of Koreans know Kung-fu?”
Response: “Kung-fu is Chinese. Taekwondo is Korean.”
Military dude: “Oh, that’s that f*ggot shit.”
7. In a conversation about dating Korean women: “I can pick these girls up with these two fingers (emphatically sticks two pinkies out).” (Note - Other than 60 year-old women there are barely any extremely short women out here. Everyone is surprisingly tall. Wait, maybe that guy just wanted to pork 60 year-old Korean women…)
6. The following was at a Culture Exchange Party where Koreans go to practice English with foreigners or vice-versa and people potentially make new friends. It’s supposed to be a warm and fuzzy multi-cultural bonding experience, etc.
Korean guy: “Do you teach English?”
Fat, bald dude: (mocking tone) “Yeah, I teach EnGRISH….”
5. From a 25 year-old: “Aren’t all Asian women submissive?” (Note - It is 2012, isn’t it?)
4. “Korean girls hate me because I’m tall, blonde and pretty.” (If you’re wondering if the girl that said this was actually pretty, just stop and think about what a person that refers to themselves as ‘pretty’ out loud would look like. Got it? Good. )
3. “I love laughing at Koreans.”
2. “Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey” while snapping his fingers impatiently. This was a 23 year-old co-worker I had, said to a 50 year-old cab driver. I heard he did this another time to a waitress. And another time to a bartender. And another time to a…you can figure out the rest.
1. And my favorite, my half-black/half white friend had the following exchange at a bar:
Friend: “So how you liking Korea?”
Guy at bar, a ‘you can’t be serious’ look on his face: ”I’m tall…and I’m white…”

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