Sidney Lumet/Paris Baguette

There’s a chain of bakeries in Korea called Paris Baguette. There’s literally one on every block! One pleasant, sunny summer day I took a stroll around my neighborhood and decided to get lunch at one nearby my apartment. I order a sandwich and sit at a table outside. I take a bite of my sandwich and then look up to see ANOTHER PARIS BAGUETTE directly across the fucking street!

Anyway, since I’m out here in Korea to make as much money as I can teaching English, I cram my schedule with class after class, gig after gig. I’m running around like a chicken without a fucking head all over the city of Seoul. Sometimes I have like a 10 minute window to eat lunch before the next class starts.

At said omnipresent bakery chain there’s a croissant sandwich that was a perfect match for the sometimes small window of time I can eat lunch. It consists of a really light croissant, a slice of ham, a slice of cheese, a piece of lettuce and some delicious concoction of a sauce that I don’t have the foggiest clue of what the ingredients are. But the whole thing is so light that I can wolf down 2 of them fast. Real fast. I actually timed it once. I picked up two sandwiches, walked across the street to my academy, got up to my class and I had wolfed down both. Time: 4 minutes. That usually leaves time before class starts for my students to make fun of my haircut or tell me that my legs are short. (Kids are always making fun of their academy teachers out here. Or maybe it’s just me!)

The whole thing reminds me of a part in legendary filmmaker Sidney Lumet’s book “Making Movies”. Lumet talks about how his military experience taught him how to nap on cue to save energy. He used this skill while on the set of his films during his half hour lunch break, taking a power nap for 25 minutes. The other 5 minutes he spent wolfing down the following: a rolled up slice of turkey and a piece of lettuce, doused with a slab of mayo. I think he wolfed down 2 of these and took his nap. Anyway, I’m probably the only motherfucker on earth who thinks of Sidney Lumet while eating at Korean bakery chain Paris Baguette. And the weird part about it all, if you haven’t figured it out by now: They fucking rhyme!

So, a shout out to the Legendary director of Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Network, The Verdict and Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (amongst many other classics). And a shout out to delicious, mystery-sauce-laden, wolf-downable croissant sandwiches!!!