Sunday, July 8, 2012

Yes, Koreans Do the Asian Squat

Korean people, like the rest of their Asian counterparts, sure do love to squat. 
I’m assuming Asians squat because it rests their legs. But have you ever tried doing this for a prolonged period of time? Your legs just start BURNING. Why is this position comfortable for folks on one side of the globe, excruciating for those on the other? 
Sometimes I’ll be walking around Seoul and out of nowhere, an old man will be squatting in between two parked cars, smoking a cig. Wow, now that’s the pinnacle of relaxation. Fuck my sofa! I need to have two filthy car bumpers inches from my head as my legs feel like they’re being bathed in lava!
Two KOREAN COUPLES, all in their 50s, walk over to a beach carrying bags, beach towels, and beach chairs. 
OLD MAN 1: Ah, ain’t this the life!
OLD WOMAN 1: So nice to finally get some vacation time!
OLD MAN 2: We can finally relax and get a break from work!
OLD WOMAN 2: Here’s a nice spot. Let’s put our stuff down.
The couples unfold their beach chairs and spread their towels over them. They place their the rest of their stuff on top of the towels. 
OLD WOMAN 2: Good thing we brought these chairs.
OLD WOMAN 1: Yeah, wouldn’t want to get any sand in our bags.
All FOUR PEOPLE then proceed to get into the ASIAN SQUAT.  
EVERYONE: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! 
OLD MAN 1: Ain’t this the life!!!!!
A few beats of “relaxation”.


  1. Squatting isn't for everyone, as I always say [I don't].

  2. Ahhhhhhh in my case is pain. I think they can do it because it's in the beginning of their National Exercise Routine that they do 1~3 times per day for 6 and a half minutes (yes, we do it in my office and it's kinda fun). They grew up going into the squat, then supporting their knees with their bodies at right angles, then back into the squat, and stand and repeat. All to old national pride music and an old dude counting in military style.